Down on the lbs.

The update on my new mindset is disappointing. At least in regards to the getting healthier part. 

Some of the people at work have started a friendly “Biggest Loser” competition. So, we are 2 weeks into a nine week competition. I am down 6 lbs and if I’m being honest, I haven’t put much effort into losing weight/ getting healthier. 

I’m happy to at least head in right direction but if I tried a little harder to eat right and exercise more I would be able make more progress.

It is always so funny to me how many excuses that I’m able to make and reason away. For example, I’ll only drink water today. The first sign of headache and I’m convinced that I need caffeine. So, off to the soda machine I go.  My lovely daughter decided to make cookies. I’ll just have one, since she went to the trouble.  5 plus cookies later. 

I’m my worst enemy.  I need to stand my ground and remain strong. Be determined. Be worth it and live it. Time to do better for myself.

New Year, New Frame of Mind

2016 is here so I am a strong believer reflecting back in order to make the future better. So, before I begin looking forward, I want to think about the past year.
2015 brought great times but also some difficult situations. My family dynamics have changed over this year. Lane moved out of the house in October and made me realize the reality of him growing up and becoming the man that needs to be. Another shocking moment came when he notified us that we would becoming grandparents. This was completely unexpected and left me speechless for a few days. My husband and I recovered from the shock and are now looking forward to a little girl grand baby in May. Riley and I traveled to Georgia to watch her boyfriend graduate from basic training. This was a highlight but later in the year she gave me the most stress that I have experienced in a long time. There are times in her life that her mental health has been questioned and left her dad and I heartbroken. This is such a larger concern than the normal day to day worries. It is multipled by 10. But we survived and are now back to the normal concerns and worries. After, a long drawn out process, we were finally able to purchase our first home. A huge blessing! 
2016 brings new outlook. A new fresh start to ideals and passions. I need to reevaluate my goals. So, here it goes.
1. I want to get healthier. Not lose weight so much, but take control of my health. Yes, I do need to lose weight but it needs to be the side effect of healthier living.
2. I want to prepare a great life and situation for my new grand baby on the way.
3. I need to get a better grasp on our finances. My husband and I were very young when we married and I was already pregnant. Money has always been a struggle. We didn’t always make the right choices and we have paid for those. Now, is the time to over come our past mistakes.
4. I need to continue to deal with my own mental health by learning that I can’t control everything. Some things are out of my control and that is okay.
5. I want to grow as a professional and continue to grow my experiences. I have goals of where I want to be in my career and I need to continue to take the steps to get there.
6. I want to nurture my relationship with my husband. As our children get older and leave the house, we need to ensure that our love for each stays. Find common interests and hobbies.
7. Finally, but most certainly not least, I need to refocus on my relationship with God. I have fallen short many times and his love is always faithful. I need to take time each day to draw closer to the Lord and talk to him. Then, I need to be sure to be still and listen to his wisdom and guidance in my life everyday.
Whew!!! That will keep me busy. Lots to focus on and lots of areas to grow into the person that I want to be. I invite you on this journey with me. I will be blogging my day to day struggles and hopefully, my victories! 
This is my “Crazy Life” and I love it.  

 
 

Quality Quote

deepest fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


This quote has really made an impact on me. The more that I look at the words and the meaning behind them, I believe them to be very true.

Maybe it is true that we are more afraid of what we are capable of.  The fact that we can accomplish so very much, but we choose not to.  At various times, I have witnessed people hide their talents so as to not make others feel bad.  But isn’t that doing a huge injustice to ourselves?

We are meant to be the best version of ourselves that we can possibly be. That can mean so many different things to everyone.  Whether it means professionally at the workplace or personally around your family and friends.

This quote has been used in two movies that I know of.  There could be more, but there are only two that I’m aware of.  The movie Coach Carter featured this quote when the high school basketball coach played by Samuel L. Jackson would ask his players, “What is your deepest fear?”  The other movie is Akeelah and the Bee.  This movie features Laurence Fishburne as a retired teacher that helps a young student prepare for the Spelling Bee. Both movies are a great testament to striving for the best version of yourself possible.

Many Thanks!

I was completely thrilled to get a notification that a fellow blogger, DBandalan, has nominated me for the Liebster Award.

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The Guidelines for the Liebster Award

The intent of the Liebster Award is to discover new bloggers.  Bloggers are to award other bloggers that new to the blogging world.  It is a welcome and a hope that it would spread the word of their blog. If you choose to accept the award, you must…

  • Post the award to your blog
  • Thank the blogger who nominated your blog for the award and link back to their blog
  • Write 11 random facts about yourself
  • Nominate 11 fellow bloggers who you feel deserve this award and who have less than 200 followers
  • Answer the 11 questions posted by the award presenter and ask your nominees 11 questions

11 Random Facts About Myself

  1. I suffer from anxiety and, at times, panic attacks.
  2. I am addicted to social media.
  3. I am also addicted to Diet Coke.  (And, NO, Diet Pepsi will not substitute)
  4. I do not eat cooked fruit. (So, I do not like fruit pies, at all)
  5. I am left handed.
  6. My favorite flower is the Tulip.
  7. I have never really had a honeymoon with my husband. (Wish I could take a trip with him)
  8. I am so very near-sighted that I couldn’t function without either my glasses or contacts.
  9. I always wished I had a sister. (My brothers are clearly closer to each other than either one are to me. I’m the third wheel. I needed a sister to be my best friend,)
  10. I don’t really have a BEST friend. (I have friends but I would like to have that one person that I knew would always have my best interest at heart.)
  11. I am REALLY looking forward to being a grandma.  I can’t wait see my babies have babies.

My Nominations of Fellow Bloggers

  1. My Own Private Idaho – http://impossiblebebong.wordpress.com/
  2. CHRISTUS St. Joseph Village – http://stjosephvillage.net/
  3. Dandelion Fuzz – http://katcarpita.wordpress.com/
  4. joyroses13 – http://joyroses13.wordpress.com/
  5. The Souzapalooza – http://thesouzapaloozablog.com/
  6. Perspectives On – http://terriwebsterschrandt.wordpress.com/
  7. One Unicorn at a Time – http://oneunicornatatime.wordpress.com/
  8. Story Teller – http://valiantwarrior.wordpress.com/
  9. The Metamorphosis of a Wallflower – http://themetamorphosisofawallflower.wordpress.com/
  10. My Decade Long Travels – http://mydecadelongtravels.wordpress.com/
  11. Retirement Lifestyle – http://007pandas.com/

The answers to my 11 questions from the person who nominated me.

  1. What was the most outrageous adventure you’ve done in your life in the last 3 years and why? I decided to run in a half-marathon.  I trained for 4 months to get ready to run.  I did it. I completed it. I was so very proud of myself.
  2. Are you an early bird or a night owl? I’m a little bit of both.  I love to stay up late if I don’t have anywhere to go the next morning.  Bit if I have something to do, I would rather get up and get it over with. Then, take a nap in the afternoon.
  3. What is the most exotic food you’ve eaten in your life? Where? My father was a Mexican-American.  He used to make some crazy things, but it would have to be Cow’s tongue.
  4. What book genre do you read and who is your favorite author? I love romance books. I enjoy reading the Nicholas Sparks books.
  5. What was the last movie you watched that made you cry? The Fault in the Stars – This movie made me cry like a really big baby.
  6. Karaoke or Live band? Karaoke.  It is so much fun.
  7. Road less traveled or Tourist attractions?  Tourist attractions.  I love to see the things that I have always heard about.
  8. Sheltered life or Free Spirited? Sheltered Life. I never really drank alcohol until I was an adult. 
  9. Bungee Jumping or Sky diving? Neither.  I don’t even like roller coasters.
  10. What is the first thing you do when you wake up (except opening your eyes)? I always grab for my phone.
  11. What is the best holiday for you and why? I love Christmas.  I love it because I Jesus’s birthday, but also because it is just a happy time that brings family together.

My 11 Questions for my Nominees, if they choose to accept the award.

  1. What was your favorite toy as a child?
  2. Do you have a nickname? Explain.
  3. Would you rather take a cruise to the Bahamas or to Alaska? Why?
  4. What is your favorite movie of all time?
  5. Are you a planner or a fly by the seat of your pants type of person?
  6. Who is one person that you would like to visit with? Alive or dead.
  7. Summer or Winter?
  8. Crispy bacon or chewy bacon?
  9. What is a hobby of yours?
  10. Favorite sport to watch?
  11. Your favorite meal to eat?

This has been a wonderful experience for me.  I’m really enjoying the blogging experience.  I look forward to reading the blogs of my nominees and learning more about them.  Thank you for inspiring me and leading me to challenge myself.

 

Things that Scare Me

Oh, my this could be a lengthy list.  I am in fear of everything.  My anxiety gets the best of me at times.  I tend to worry about things that never come to fruition. This I believe is my greatest fault.  I let my mind over think things when I shouldn’t. I worry about things that I can’t control.  I worry about things that could change my life forever.  I worry about the way people think about me.  I worry if I’m making an impact on others. I worry about the decisions of my children.  And the list goes on and on.

So, while my list could be miles long.  I think that I should probably focus on what I should be worried about the most.  I am scared that I may spend my entire life worried about what could happen that I miss all of the greatest things that my life is and can be. If I live my life in constant fear of so many things, can I really enjoy living the life that I’ve been given?  But the question is how?  How do I stop doing something that I don’t consciously make a decision to do.  It just happens.  I don’t choose to worry.  It just happens.

I need to find a happy medium between being cautious and overly paranoid.  I need to learn to relax and enjoy the moments as they come.  I should learn to stop and smell the roses.

This is my fear.  The need to control something that may not be controllable.

Strike Three! You’re Out!

This is the final installment of my 3 post series.  I have linked my other two posts so you can catch up on the story.

Strike One!

Strike Two!

We had managed to enjoy a full day of Saturday fun on our rough start of a camping trip.  We went swimming, floating, ate dinner, and of course enjoyed the required Smores that makes it a true campfire experience.  After eating, the campfire was circled with lawn chairs as we all sat around and visited. We were introduced to two new camp games.

The first being “High-Low.” Everyone takes turns around the circle and shares their High for the day and their Low for the day.  As a mother, I enjoy this very much.  I love hearing my children talk about the things that made their day and also the things that they didn’t enjoy very much.  Even on our last camping trip we forgot to share at the campfire, so we all lay in our tent side by side, so we did our High-Low before we went to bed.

The second game isn’t necessarily just a camping game.  It is called, “I’ve Never.”  Everyone holds up 5 fingers and you take turns going around the circle saying something that you have never done.  If you have done the thing stated, you have to put down a finger.  So, to win the game you should be the last one left with a finger up.

Anyway, on Sunday morning we awoke and were all sitting around sleepily. There were adults sitting around drinking coffee, so we decided to make hot chocolate for the children to drink. Since, I’m not a coffee drinker, I chose to drink the hot chocolate.  I sat in my camp chair admiring the fire.  My third child, a little girl that was four at the time, woke up and sat next me in her little princess camp chair.  She wanted my hot chocolate to drink, so I handed it to her.  She took a drink and sat with it in her hand.  The next thing I knew she dozed back off in her chair and spilled the hot chocolate all over her legs.  The hot chocolate was so hot that she started to scream.  I picked her up and immediately adults were running around trying to help.  One person grabbed the water container to pour over her.  Another ran to get the first aid kit.  When we poured the water over her leg, the skin just peeled off.  We laid her across the table and put burn medicine on her leg.

Strike Three!

When we left later that day, we decided that the burn was to severe.  We ended up in the ER.  She had a second degree burn from that hot chocolate.  The doctor gave us silver dine ointment and gauze wrap to keep it covered.

It was certainly an eventful camping trip that we will never forget.  After all of this, we have been camping again and have learned to love our trips.

What’s Your Yolk

I am a mother of four.  I am a working mother of four.  I am a busy working mother of four.

Because of this, there are not many opportunities to spend quality one on one time with my kiddos.  I certainly get lots of family time with all six of us together and doing things, but there are times when just need to spend a day with one of the kids.

It is during these times that you really get to have conversations with your kids and get to know them the person.  Where you can have conversations that only relate to them and their interests, concerns, goals, and dreams. I have two boys and two girls.  Four children with completely different personalities.

My oldest son is a mystery to me.  He is very quiet and never really shares information about his thoughts with his father and I.  He loves to joke around with us, play games, and watch tv, but he vows to never have a serious conversation in his entire life.  (Let’s see how that works out for him.) He is 20 and still lives at home with us, but works 40 hours a week and is a member of the National Guard.  So, he is very responsible and pays his own bills.  We are very proud of him. There have been times that I have even said that I feel like I don’t even know him very well because of the fact that he doesn’t really talk about his feelings.  He is a hard egg to crack.

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The next oldest is a daughter and she has become my best friend.  There was a time during her preteen years that I didn’t enjoy her attitude at all. But as time went by, she and I have become very close.  She was always willing to tell me every little detail of her day.  I never had to pull information from her. We enjoy shopping, cooking, watching tv, crafting, movie watching, and many other things.  She is almost 19 years old and she is growing into an independent woman.  When we have time together she was shares about her relationship, college classes, work and future plans. She is not a hard egg to crack; her yolk is all over.

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The third in the list is another daughter that is in the midst of the preteen years.  She is at the stage where I am just now beginning to enjoy her after the preteen attitude has started to subside.  She has the most tender loving heart that I have every known.  She loves to please people and wants to make the people that she loves proud.  When I am able to spend time with her, she wants to go shopping or do crafts.  She loves to create and make things.  She is a soft boiled egg.

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The baby of the family is a boy and he is completely hysterical.  He is the comic relief of the group.  I never know what he will say or do at times.  He is 10 years old and I completely love this age because he is starting to become his own person with his own thoughts about things.  He doesn’t really share much with me but when I get him alone, I am able to have conversations with him that I value a lot.  Just the other day, him and I went to town alone and he starts telling me about school and what he likes about it and what he doesn’t.  He starts telling me about books that they are reading in class and I just love it.  Then, he turns his conversations to things that his friends have told him and asks questions that he has.  In the end, our conversation turns to God and what heaven will be like.  This was the best time I have had in a very long time. He doesn’t much until I get him alone and then he softens.  He is a hard boiled egg.

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All of them so very different, but I enjoy each and every one of them.  I love spending time with them and being their mom.

I AM BLESSED!

Dear Comfy Bed

To my Comfy Bed,

I’m awakened by the annoying buzzing of my alarm clock.  The buzz is silenced by the push of my snooze button.  My body drifts back to dreamland only to woke up again by the buzzing.  I know that I need to get up and leave you and start getting ready, but you are so inviting.  However, my better judgement overcomes the need to remain in bed.

We will meet again after a busy day of life’s ups and downs.

Sincerely,

Your Loyal Friend

Strike Two!

I have recently posted Strike One on my blog about a time that we went camping.  Please take a moment and read that post before reading Strike Two.

So, as we were standing around trying to figure out where in the world our tent poles could be, our older children decided to ride their bikes around the campground.  This was something that they were allowed to do because they were older and they always traveled in groups.  When they left, we were finally erecting the extra tent that our friends had loaned us.

I turned around to see what our little one was doing and realized that he was no where to be found.  This is literally to moment that my heart stopped.  I was frantically searching everywhere for him.  Everyone stopped what they were doing and immediately looked for our little guy.  Being as we were close to the river, my concern was that he had made it down to the river.  I immediately ran down and searched without any sign. My mind started going over the million things that could have happened to him. Each second that passed made me even more frantic.

On my way back from the river, I see my husband carrying my son in the distance.  My emotions took over and the tears began to roll down my cheeks.  The relief that I felt overcame me. My husband found him walking down the road of the campground.  He had been trying to get the older children as they rode off on their bikes.

This is truly a mother’s worst nightmare.  The fear that I felt and the not knowing plus the worst case scenarios running through my mind made this an unforgettable moment.

That was our Strike Two for the camping trip.  Stay tuned for Strike Three.  It will be coming soon.